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The only surviving video from Barnstock ‘09

Barnstock

And, of course, it’s the song I played least competently.  Oh, well.  At least Eloise sounds good.  And if you use your imagination, you can pretend that you hear Monkey playing something.

Kenton Club 8/15

August 15, 2009
9:30 pmto10:30 pm

It’s summer, which means it’s time to get the band back together again.

Precisely one month from today, we’ll be opening for the Alien Funk Squad at The Kenton Club.  Be there at approximately 9:30!

Not to get your hopes up or anything, but there’s a good chance that we’ll be playing at least five brand-new songs as sloppily as you’d expect us to.

One of those songs HASN’T EVEN BEEN WRITTEN YET.  And you know what?  Screw it.  I am personally guaranteeing that we will play five brand-new songs at this show.  My mouth is officially writing checks that my ass has no ability to cash.

Kaufmann on Kaufmann Live

May 30, 2009
3:00 pmto3:30 pm

Famous Artist Jedidiah Chavez will be trying to sell hot dogs outside of the Arbor Lodge New Seasons. Apparently, he feels that people who hear me and Eloise singing songs will suddenly develop an intense craving for turd-shaped meats.

We’ll be there from 3-3:30 this afternoon, and if you want to see me look uncomfortable while playing guitar badly and singing mediocrely and sweating because it’s over 80 degrees, and if you want to hear the lovely and talented Eloise try to make up for my deficiencies, drop by and let Jed try to sell you a hot dog.

Apparently, all proceeds benefit the good work at Ethos.

UPDATE: Djerzi took a picture:

ethossing

Ricky Gervais on…

I strongly recommend that everyone listen to the Ricky Gervais on.. series.

I’m currently listening to the one on natural history, and it’s just about the most absurd thing I’ve heard. Looks like Amazon has them for a couple of bucks each. Haven’t checked the iTunes.

Looming Babies and Broken Fingers

brokenhand

DYM on hiatus. Back in July.

More Achewood fun

For those of you who suddenly now can’t wait for the next Achewood book:

The joy of garage sales.

I think we might begin Operation Harass Chris Onstad Until He Let’s Us Write An Achewood Rock Opera.

The New Way Forward

This morning, the shape of the projects we’re working on became clear to me.

Writing pop songs is an odd pasttime, or maybe it’s just that my approach is odd. The songs originate as fragments, which are then combined with other fragments, and the embryonic song then either dictates the direction of the lyrics or is adapted to suit a lyrical idea that’s been waiting around for an appropriate vehicle. This seems to work well enough for individual songs, but recently I’ve been working on writing an album, and the process of fragments becoming songs which are fragments of an ideally cohesive album isn’t really working. One reason it hasn’t been working is that I never figured out what this album was supposed to be (apart from good). It’s sort of like taking puzzle pieces and putting them together to form larger puzzle pieces and then getting into a car and placing those pieces in mailboxes around the city and then driving home and having a drink and watching an old movie while keeping an eye out for the mailman. The success of the venture depends entirely on the quality of movie, I suppose.

Over the past few weeks, Roboctopus has come up pretty consistently in a variety of conversations. I hadn’t really thought about it in a while, because hell, it’s done and over with. But it was mentioned often enough that it worked its way into my brain and forced me to consider it. And, more to the point of this post, it made me think about what kind of songwriter I am.

It’s odd that I’ve never really thought about it. Wait, no, it’s not odd–I’m not a songwriter, so why would I think about it? Sure, I write songs, but I also play tennis, and I’m definitely not a tennis player. On the whole, it’s probably a bad idea to think of myself as a songwriter, but it’s too late.1 It happened.

Blah blah blah: in evaluating my perceived strengths and weaknesses, it turns out that I probably work best with conceptual/narrative-driven songs/projects.

I guess how I arrived at the idea doesn’t matter too much to anybody but me, but I needed to write it out to make sure I made sense to myself.

So here’s what we at DYM will be working on this spring and summer:

  1. Mixing and finishing the Tough Nuggets EP.
  2. Musicians of Sound: Soundtrack to the Motion Picture. Details on this will be forthcoming once I make sure that what I have in mind is logistically feasible.
  3. Maintain the Feel EP. This is probably going to include the three songs that are currently slated for Musicians of Sound, as well as any decent-enough songs that don’t quite fit with what I have in mind.
  4. A new rock opera. What the hell, right? Townshend has written four or five, so we can probably get away with two.

So there you go.  Two conceptual narrative projects, two random-ass EPs.  We’ll see how it goes.

  1. The short version of why it’s bad: it has to do with self-consciousness. []

Bank

One of the best articles I’ve read recently about the history of the economic crisis is available in this month’s Harper’s: “Infinite debt: How unlimited interest rates destroyed the economy” by Thomas Geoghegan, a labor lawyer from Chicago.

It’s not freely available online at the moment (although it may be in the relatively near future), so you might have to do something crazy like actually buy the magazine. Here’s an excerpt:

One day in late 2000, I got a call from Monsignor John Egan, a labor priest and civil rights activist who had marched with Saul Alinsky. When he hit old age with his bad heart, he’d try to get people to join committees by saying, “Oh, Sue”—or Bill or Jean or Tom—“it’s probably the last thing I’ll ever ask of you.” He made these requests for years. But in what was really the last time, he wanted me to help him fight a new kind of loan—payday loans at rates of 100 percent or 500 percent or 700 percent, which were increasingly on offer in Illinois. I was astonished. For a guy like Jack Egan, who had marched with Walter Reuther and Martin Luther King Jr., this seemed like such a minor issue. Who’d even take out a payday loan?

Now, years later, when there are well over a thousand of these loan agencies in Illinois, and Jack Egan has long since died, I wish I could say: “O Monsignor, you were right.” He could see, years before the rest of us: this fight against the banks was like the fight to unionize, it was like the civil rights movement. He knew, as the rest of us did not, where an Alinsky, a Reuther, a King would be—they’d be marching on the banks.

For those of you who’d prefer an 800 word distillation of one of the article’s main points, you can always check out yesterday’s Krugman article.

I know this phenomenon isn’t entirely Ronald Reagan’s fault, but nonetheless:

reagansucks

Yeah, yeah, it’s old.

What can I say? I’ve been busy.

I hate to say it, but this is 10x better than Castle.

Thanks, Djerzi.

I just spent the last two days trying to write lyrics about the fall of the Ottoman empire for “The Princess is in Another Castle (working title).”

I wrote it from the POV of the Sultan, from the POV of the Sultan’s daughter, from the POV of a small village at the edge of the empire that’s lost communication with the capital, from the POV of the Sultan’s daughter/wife barricaded in the room of a crumbling castle in a town at the edge of the empire whose walls had just been breached by barbarians, and from the POV of the Sultan’s daughter/wife who had been exiled to a town on the outskirts of empire that experienced a long, slow decay into barbarism after decades of being out of communication with the capital.

I wrote a goddamn novel trying to write these lyrics, and they didn’t work. Not a single line. It was all horseshit.

So after realizing that I had blown two days failing to write lyrics for one song when I need to write lyrics for four songs by Sunday, I decided “The Princess is in Another Castle (working title)” is going to be a love song that has absolutely nothing to do with Ottomans, empires, or falling.

The lyrics should be done in approximately half an hour.

Are my dreams starting to come true?

It’s been a fantasy of mine that the reason Pynchon takes so long to publish novels is because he’s been working on six or seven giant projects at once, and they’ll all get published one month before his death (may that day be long in coming). I have never had any proof of this.

But now there’s news of a new Pynchon, only three years after the publication of his previous book. An age of wonders, bitches!

I have no idea what this means.

These ReverbNation jokers have been sending me emails every other day. As far as I can tell, it has something to do with Facebook, which means it has something to do with Satan bending over and spraying flaming diarrhea all over my face.

Perhaps this communication will be of interest to other members of the band:

Dear Delightful Young Man,

This email is to advise you that you are nearing a cap on one or more of the measurements used to determine your Band Equity Score (BES). This cap DOES NOT affect your profile, widgets, Facebook or Bebo application, or any other aspects of your ReverbNation profile or tool set, but it could limit the growth of your BES and prevent you from climbing further up the ReverbNation charts.

View your Band Equity Statistics and “Cap”
Look for the yellow cylinder and what can be done to increase it.

Sincerely,
ReverbNation Support Team

The absolute last thing I want to do with my life is to go looking for some goddamn yellow cylinder in order to ponder methods and strategies for increasing it.

Greenladies have an EP

Greenladies, fronted by our mutual friend Mike and featuring none other than the indispensable Djerzi Rocket, have finally released their debut EP, “Black Mold.”  You can download it and/or purchase it here:

Greenladies “Black Mold” at Bandcamp

Right now I’m listening to “Costa Rica,” which might be my favorite Mike song ever. It had been a while since I’d heard the demo, and it had been a slightly less while since I last saw them play live, but the EP is surprisingly more 60s-garage-band-sounding than I’d expected. It’s kind of awesome.

The only bummer is that “Mil Años” isn’t on the EP.  Damn covers and rights.  So as far as I can tell, the only place to hear it is still motherfucking MySpace.

Also: thanks to Mike for alerting us to Bandcamp.  It’s about time something like this showed up.  That’s totally how we’ll release Tough Nuggets when it finally gets mixed.

UPDATE: Apparently, there’s code!

<a href="http://greenladies.bandcamp.com/album/black-mold-ep">What You Been Up To by Greenladies</a>

This guy should’ve been VP

I wasn’t one of the people who jumped on the Kerry Sucks! bandwagon after he lost the election.  I always liked the guy.  OK, he was a terrible presidential candidate, but if Gore had picked him over the-guy-who-gets-insulted-bigtime-without-naming-names-in-this-interview for VP, he might’ve been our 44th president.  Obama would’ve had to wait for 45.

Yes, I’m assuming that if Gore had won, we’d be in the middle of 24 years of benevolent Democratic rule, which means I’m assuming a Gore/Kerry ticket would’ve been more competent stewards of the economy than the Clinton/Gore ticket was…

Ah, dreams.  Beautiful, beautiful dreams.  Even though these dreams are filled with pain and regret, that pain and regret is infinitely better than looking at that photo Pennystripe posted earlier today.

Do it for this guy.

Alright, so we haven’t been playing shows the past few months. Our fans are growing anxious, or just moving on. However, there are those dedicated few who want the band to prosper. They look up to us in some weird way. Like we’re Rock Gods who descended from the heavens. This is partly true, but mostly and really not.

Although we are busy people, although we have no time and varying levels of commitment, we all need to remember that we’re here mainly for ourselves but also a little bit for those dedicated few fans.

The fan above was so taken with Jimmy’s picture from the DYM band pic that he wanted to share this with us. To me, this picture says both “waiting patiently…” and “hope to hear from my favorite band soon.” Thank you, Fan #1.

See how productive!

She likes animals and wants them to have friends

“People Got a Lot of Nerve” by Neko Case

Oh, and the new AC Newman came in the mail today. That’s the nice thing about liking the New Pornographers. If it’s not Neko or Carl, you can be sure Dan Bejar’s about to puke out 15 or so new songs…

EDIT: I realize the title is more cryptic than is absolutely necessary. Here you go!

Still Working Hard to Destroy America

Oh, you crazy Southerners. What new brand of treason will you think of next?

Merry Christmas to Some

Here it is, folks. The highly anticipated sequel to “Delightful Young Man Commits Industrial Sabotage.”

Delightful Young Man in “Christmas Circa 78.”

Or if you’re the sort who hates watching videos, but enjoy signing up for new music sites, how about “Christmas Circa 78″ by Delightful Young Man on Cherry Peel.

The Worst Christmas Pageant Ever

Unbeknownst to many of you, DYM broke up back in October.  Recently, it was proposed that we get the band back together to shoot a music video for a non-existent Christmas song.

Last weekend, we shot the video.  It’s about seven minutes long.  Which means that we now have to write and record a seven minute Christmas song.  Who the hell wants to listen to a seven minute Christmas song?  For reference, “I Hope Santa’z For Real” clocks in at just under six minutes, and that thing seems like it goes on forever.

In addition to the ridiculous length requirement, the music video has a somewhat amusing premise that, if translated into song, would be the most idiotic thing ever heard by a human being.  Not that sheer idiocy has stopped us from recording songs in the past, but if four minutes of stupidity is hard to take, imagine what seven minutes would do to you.